If you read this today, November 28th, 2014, then
you are probably reading it while I am on a plane high up in the sky. Hopefully
I’m taking a MUCH needed nap. I might be watching a movie on my laptop relaxing
whilst on my travels. What you might be wondering is what am I doing on a plane
today? It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to blog and boy am I WAY
behind. So while I have an hour to wait til I board my flight, here’s the
update….. (Be prepared it’s A LOT. So this is going to be just a part of what’s
going on)
I am flying out to Los Angeles today. The day has come that
I have dreamed about for over two years. I have hoped this day would come again
in my life that I would be able to go back to the place I love, the city I
thrive in, the place I left a part of my heart the very day I left in
2012. I wanted to do this move the
“right” way though. Last time I moved, I literally packed up some suitcases,
hopped on a plane, crossed my fingers the room I was renting via Craiglist
would work out and prayed I would get a job within a month. It was pretty
carefree and in the end it all worked out. This time is different though. This
time I have someone more important to think about than anyone or anything in
this world and that is my beautiful baby girl.
I needed a job secured this time around. A job that would
pay rent, pay for my daughter’s childcare, pay for a car and all the
necessities of life on a single income. Not to mention being out of work for
two and a half years makes the job hunt a scary place. Who is going to want me?
Will any company see value in me? Can I find something that pays what I need to
survive alone?
Well, the amazing news is I did! I accepted an INCREDIBLE
job offer doing exactly what I was looking for in a CAREER. Not just a job but
somewhere that I see myself staying, growing, moving up, taking names and
kicking booty the way I know how. A modern, innovative company that I am beyond
thrilled to join and quite frankly still a little shocked I have the position I
was hired for! I’m not going to mention the name of the company here in my blog
publicly, but if you are my friend on Facebook then you will be able to see I
have indeed updated my “work” info.
Now moving across the country with a toddler is no easy
feat. I’ve discovered we had a ton of stuff to move, more than I anticipated. I
found an affordable way to ship all our belongings in two pods from the company
Door-to-Door moving and storage. Good news is I have everything I need already
to start up a new apartment with my little girl, so once my containers arrive,
I’m all set. I don’t really need to be spending extra expenses buying items
necessary for our own place. Just a bed and couch really which I’ve scouted out
serious discounted prices this sales weekend already. J So that takes care of our belongings.
Here comes the hardest part. To make the transition easy on
a two year old, the BEST decision was to go out to LA on my own at first to
secure an apartment, setup a preschool and setup all of her belongings, bed etc
so she is walking into a new life ready to go! I start work Monday morning so I
have a lot to get done. As I’m typing this in the airport, I keep fighting back
my tears of just having to have said my “see ya laters” to her. Anyone that
knows me knows I have never left my daughter. In her almost two and a half
years of her entire life I left her for one brief overnight with friends and
got her bright and early in the morning because I missed her so much! That was
it. Beyond that it’s been her and I her whole life. We aren’t ever apart from
each other. I’ve been fighting back bawling and having a royal meltdown over
this part of the journey for a few weeks now, especially this week and I’m sure
once I hit LA, I’ll be a hot mess and I’ll cry it out at some point. The
reality of it is I know this is the best way to go about it for her. I have and
always will do what’s in her best interest. It will be a priceless time for her
to get to spend quality time with Grandma and Abuelo before she comes back with
me to Los Angeles. I know she will have a blast…..she just better not forget
about me!
I know this is long so I’ll try to sum it up and write
another post this weekend to update more about this whole journey. I will say
this, I know very well that some people don’t understand, won’t understand and
can’t understand why I am doing this. Why do I want to go back to California?
How dare I move my daughter across the country away from her Grandparents? I
have been told I am selfish and only thinking about myself. To that this is
what I have to say. My daughter is always and WILL always be my number one
priority. Reality I HAVE to work. I am a
single parent household so while some have this great idea that I can stay home
forever, I’m wondering if you all are going to continue to pay my bills as
well??? I am not looking forward to leaving her in childcare but I know deep
down she WILL be ok, she will thrive, she will probably be stoked and run away
from me to go play with friends. She asks me all the time to go play with boys
and girls. She runs on the playground and loudly announces to everyone, “HI! My
name is AUBREY ROSE!!” This is the little girl I’ve raised that I know will be
ok. She is smart, caring and has her mommy’s outgoing and independent
personality that will make this all work out.
What I do know is this, I can provide for her there and I
can take her to all the incredible family events that happen ALL year round. No
more stuck and stranded in the house for 6 months+ due to the cold air or bad
weather. We can hit the beach in December, January, February…..anytime she
wants! We will be two miles away from the Pacific Ocean. I also believe that
when a parent is happy, their child is happy. I am not selfish because I also
want to be happy. If that makes me selfish in some people eyes, oh well. I know
my dream is not everyone’s dream and that’s ok. We all have different dreams,
different goals, and different likes. We all have different answers of where
our ideal vacation would be so when you don’t understand why I’m doing this,
it’s probably just because you wouldn’t do it.
I hope my daughter realizes that she can do whatever she
wants to do. She can accomplish and chase any dream she has. This has not been
easy, this has so far been the hardest thing to do and get together but I’m
doing it. I’m making it work. I’m not giving up and I will be the role model to
my daughter that she should have.
Never settle. Never give up. You want something, go after
it. If you’re not happy, change something in your life and BE happy. We all
deserve happiness, we all deserve to go after our happy endings. It may not
easy. Following your dreams are not always easy but you can’t stop because you
have hard times, bumps in the roads. There are always going to be obstacles,
people who try to stop you, people who don’t believe in you. Believe in yourself, believe in the power of
positivity and great things can happen. I’m doing it….I’m following my dream
again. A dream I have not just for me, but for me and my daughter. I am
excited, overwhelmed, anxious, thrilled, sad and scared shitless. I have faith, I have family support, I have
the drive of my daughter pushing me to be the best I can be and I thankfully
have the good Lord above watching out for me.
….I’ll check back in with you all once I’m in sunny
California. Time to get ready for boarding.
*I apologize for typos, grammatical errors. I don't have time to edit! I need to board my flight now!*
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