The Journey To California: Los Angeles Bound & Big NEWS.

If you read this today, November 28^th, 2014, then you are probably reading it while I am on a plane high up in the sky. Hopefully I’m taking a MUCH needed nap. I might be watching a movie on my laptop relaxing whilst on my travels. What you might be wondering is what am I doing on a plane today? It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to blog and boy am I WAY behind. So while I have an hour to wait til I board my flight, here’s the update….. (Be prepared it’s A LOT. So this is going to be just a part of what’s going on)

I am flying out to Los Angeles today. The day has come that I have dreamed about for over two years. I have hoped this day would come again in my life that I would be able to go back to the place I love, the city I thrive in, the place I left a part of my heart the very day I left in 2012.  I wanted to do this move the “right” way though. Last time I moved, I literally packed up some suitcases, hopped on a plane, crossed my fingers the room I was renting via Craiglist would work out and prayed I would get a job within a month. It was pretty carefree and in the end it all worked out. This time is different though. This time I have someone more important to think about than anyone or anything in this world and that is my beautiful baby girl.

I needed a job secured this time around. A job that would pay rent, pay for my daughter’s childcare, pay for a car and all the necessities of life on a single income. Not to mention being out of work for two and a half years makes the job hunt a scary place. Who is going to want me? Will any company see value in me? Can I find something that pays what I need to survive alone?

Well, the amazing news is I did! I accepted an INCREDIBLE job offer doing exactly what I was looking for in a CAREER. Not just a job but somewhere that I see myself staying, growing, moving up, taking names and kicking booty the way I know how. A modern, innovative company that I am beyond thrilled to join and quite frankly still a little shocked I have the position I was hired for! I’m not going to mention the name of the company here in my blog publicly, but if you are my friend on Facebook then you will be able to see I have indeed updated my “work” info.  

Now moving across the country with a toddler is no easy feat. I’ve discovered we had a ton of stuff to move, more than I anticipated. I found an affordable way to ship all our belongings in two pods from the company Door-to-Door moving and storage. Good news is I have everything I need already to start up a new apartment with my little girl, so once my containers arrive, I’m all set. I don’t really need to be spending extra expenses buying items necessary for our own place. Just a bed and couch really which I’ve scouted out serious discounted prices this sales weekend already. J  So that takes care of our belongings.

Here comes the hardest part. To make the transition easy on a two year old, the BEST decision was to go out to LA on my own at first to secure an apartment, setup a preschool and setup all of her belongings, bed etc so she is walking into a new life ready to go! I start work Monday morning so I have a lot to get done. As I’m typing this in the airport, I keep fighting back my tears of just having to have said my “see ya laters” to her. Anyone that knows me knows I have never left my daughter. In her almost two and a half years of her entire life I left her for one brief overnight with friends and got her bright and early in the morning because I missed her so much! That was it. Beyond that it’s been her and I her whole life. We aren’t ever apart from each other. I’ve been fighting back bawling and having a royal meltdown over this part of the journey for a few weeks now, especially this week and I’m sure once I hit LA, I’ll be a hot mess and I’ll cry it out at some point. The reality of it is I know this is the best way to go about it for her. I have and always will do what’s in her best interest. It will be a priceless time for her to get to spend quality time with Grandma and Abuelo before she comes back with me to Los Angeles. I know she will have a blast…..she just better not forget about me!

I know this is long so I’ll try to sum it up and write another post this weekend to update more about this whole journey. I will say this, I know very well that some people don’t understand, won’t understand and can’t understand why I am doing this. Why do I want to go back to California? How dare I move my daughter across the country away from her Grandparents? I have been told I am selfish and only thinking about myself. To that this is what I have to say. My daughter is always and WILL always be my number one priority.  Reality I HAVE to work. I am a single parent household so while some have this great idea that I can stay home forever, I’m wondering if you all are going to continue to pay my bills as well??? I am not looking forward to leaving her in childcare but I know deep down she WILL be ok, she will thrive, she will probably be stoked and run away from me to go play with friends. She asks me all the time to go play with boys and girls. She runs on the playground and loudly announces to everyone, “HI! My name is AUBREY ROSE!!” This is the little girl I’ve raised that I know will be ok. She is smart, caring and has her mommy’s outgoing and independent personality that will make this all work out.

What I do know is this, I can provide for her there and I can take her to all the incredible family events that happen ALL year round. No more stuck and stranded in the house for 6 months+ due to the cold air or bad weather. We can hit the beach in December, January, February…..anytime she wants! We will be two miles away from the Pacific Ocean. I also believe that when a parent is happy, their child is happy. I am not selfish because I also want to be happy. If that makes me selfish in some people eyes, oh well. I know my dream is not everyone’s dream and that’s ok. We all have different dreams, different goals, and different likes. We all have different answers of where our ideal vacation would be so when you don’t understand why I’m doing this, it’s probably just because you wouldn’t do it.

I hope my daughter realizes that she can do whatever she wants to do. She can accomplish and chase any dream she has. This has not been easy, this has so far been the hardest thing to do and get together but I’m doing it. I’m making it work. I’m not giving up and I will be the role model to my daughter that she should have.

Never settle. Never give up. You want something, go after it. If you’re not happy, change something in your life and BE happy. We all deserve happiness, we all deserve to go after our happy endings. It may not easy. Following your dreams are not always easy but you can’t stop because you have hard times, bumps in the roads. There are always going to be obstacles, people who try to stop you, people who don’t believe in you.  Believe in yourself, believe in the power of positivity and great things can happen. I’m doing it….I’m following my dream again. A dream I have not just for me, but for me and my daughter. I am excited, overwhelmed, anxious, thrilled, sad and scared shitless.  I have faith, I have family support, I have the drive of my daughter pushing me to be the best I can be and I thankfully have the good Lord above watching out for me.

….I’ll check back in with you all once I’m in sunny California. Time to get ready for boarding.

If you want to continue to follow my journey, go “like” my blog fb page, “Life’s A Beach Mom” for all the latest updates I’ll be posting. Love you all. Follow your dreams.

*I apologize for typos, grammatical errors. I don't have time to edit! I need to board my flight now!*

You Took Night Time Cold Medicine Mom? Let's Stay Awake All Night!

So I woke up Saturday morning with swollen lymph nodes and an incredibly dry throat along with a lovely headache. After a quick investigation at my throat with a flashlight and seeing lovely white bumps all about, I have self diagnosed myself with some strep.

Never the less the day wasn't bad, but I was feeling pretty crappy later on. So before bed I took a multi-symptom NIGHT time medicine. I wanted night time to help me get a solid night of sleep since I am often a restless sleeper lately. (My brain hasn't been able to shut off apparently with so much going on)

Took the  medicine, got the kiddo to sleep, did some online research for a bit until I felt really tired. I probably went to sleep a little after or around 10:30. Well apparently some evil curse must have been placed on me because my toddler decided to give a night more restless than any other when I was in a zombie mode....

11:30 pm - Toddler gets out of bed and crawls into mine. This is no surprise, happens quite often still but not quite this early in the night usually.

11:30pm - 2:30am - An extreme amount of toddler rolling about in bed and kicking me. You are already taking up 90% of the queen size bed kid....like just get comfortable and GO TO SLEEP.

2:35 am - "Mommy I want juice." The juice is far far away in a land called the kitchen which is down the long hallway, down the long stairway and into the still even further far away fridge. I offer water since that's what I kept up there for her. She doesn't want much. If you don't want much water, you aren't that thirsty....go to sleep.

4:11 am - "Mommy I want something to eat." -- "It's 4am, everyone is sleeping, it's dark outside, go back to sleep, close your eyes, you can have breakfast in the morning with everyone else, you're fine."

[Thoughts occurring in my head at this point...YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FREAKIN' KIDDING ME. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TONIGHT. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???!!!! Ugh my throat hurts so bad, I need some water...how does she take up so much room in the bed?]

4:32 am - "Mommy I have to go pee pee's." - In the almost two and a half years of your lovely little life, you have never once in the middle of the night woken up and asked to go "pee-pee". Never once. But tonight CLEARLY is the opportune time to try it out. Clearly.

No matter how sick you are, when your toddler actually asks to go pee pee, you give it a shot. Although I should have known it wasn't the full truth.....

Sick mommy takes toddler to the bathroom and praises the lord that at least it is located IN the bedroom and we don't have to go far. Toddler asks to put the light on. HELL NO. (I just said no, I don't actually swear, I just think those words in my head) We can see fine. If we put the light on, I'll go blind and lose my way back to the bed and it will probably only wake up the toddler even more. Cries because she doesn't want to go potty. Crazy how quick that changes in a matter of 60 seconds. Change pee soaked diaper because clearly that's where she decided to empty her bladder. And back to bed. Now it's about 4:45am "GO TO SLEEP." "We can snuggle, but CLOSE YOUR EYES."

5:33 am - "Mommy I want something to eat." Again?! Really? No, it's still too early GOOOOO TOOOO SLEEEEPPPPP. EVERYONE IS FAST ASLEEEEEP in the world. EVERYONE.

Ugh I'm gonna have to actually wake up in an hour with her. What happened to my night of sleep?

7:09 am - "Mommy, WAKE UP. I want something to eat. Get up. Take it off! (in regards to my eye mask as she pries it off my head)" I guess I have no more excuses and have to get up now. "Give me a minute to stretch Aubrey, just give me a minute to get up ok? I'll make you some sausage and eggs for breakfast." (Pretty nice breakfast offer I think considering how crappy I feel)
Response from toddler....let's jump on Mommy. On her stomach, on her legs and let's plop our little butt directly on mom's face multiple times.

I must have been cursed from the moment I took that night time medicine. Like the universe thought it was hysterical I actually wanted to sleep. Some moms I know are up more than that. And I completely understand...my darling baby girl never slept a single night through until she was 15 months old. Yup. She was up pretty much that entire span of her life every two hours. On a good night, I would get a three hour block of sleep.  But never in her toddler life have I had SO many requests in the middle of the night and so much tossing and turning that kept hitting, kicking and plopping on top of me. And normally I wouldn't even care that much but I felt like CRAP. Plus this is the downsides of single motherhood, there is never anyone else to get up even when you're sick, in a cold medicine coma and not wanting to move. I'm crossing my fingers tonight is better. Send your sleepy vibes to the both of us tonight!