"MY MOMMY! IT’S MY MOMMY!!!"

6 weeks. It took 6 weeks too long to get everything set up. Mind you amid starting a new full time job, finding a place to live, purchasing a car, finding a preschool, moving into a new apartment and purchasing/transporting furniture since I had nothing, this seems like a reasonable and somewhat quick amount of time to get everything done in. But to me, it was a lifetime. A lifetime away from my daughter. I missed Christmas with her, New Year’s…things I felt like I couldn't get back. (But fully intended to recreate Christmas in our new apartment!)

Getting back to Atlanta, I wish the plane could have flown FASTER. Aubrey didn't know I was coming back that day. When I came to the door and rang the doorbell (I wish I could have had her face filmed!!) she did a triple take. Confusion followed by sheer excitement and disbelief. She yelled, “MY MOMMY, IT’S MY MOMMY!!” I've never seen her like that before. I could see how much she had missed me and it was the best hug I think I ever had with her because there was so much emotion in it. We just needed to have a good long embrace that was long overdue. I MISSED HER SO MUCH!

I feel like she grew SO much in such a short time. And she just kept showing me all the Christmas decorations and everything she had been doing with Grandma and Abuelo while I was away. Now I flew in on a Friday and was leaving that Sunday afternoon so it was a QUICK trip. Since I was flying Southwest Airlines, each passenger can fly two bags free. So you better believe I was still hauling four more suitcases full of things I left behind back to California. My body also decided that it was a good time to catch a nasty cold. I almost didn't get on the plane Sunday but forced myself so that we could just get back and then I would get better once home.

We got back LATE. Sometime after midnight, it was a LONG day of traveling. Aubrey was SO excited to see “Aubrey’s house” and she lit up walking in and being reunited with her toys and belongings and most importantly HER BED. Over the 6 weeks we were apart, she was not happy with me for taking her bed! It was pretty humorous. She constantly reminded me that, “Mommy took my bed!” (insert toddler sour puss face). I worked from home the next day so she could adjust to the new place and new time zone. I took her to visit her preschool down the road which SHE surprisingly asked me to do! The RELIEF I had that my baby girl was finally here in Los Angeles with me, we were finally together was unreal. I was so excited for what was ahead for us.

At work, next to my desk I have a small column that juts out and I call it my “motivation wall.” The only thing on it are pictures of Aubrey. If I ever have a rough day, miss her at preschool or just need that boost, I look at it and am reminded of why I am doing what I am doing, and why I have pushed myself through all these barriers to get to this point. I am doing this for her. To give HER a better life, a fulfilled life with endless opportunities. To show her that she can be anything she wants to be and that women are strong, successful leaders.  My goal is to strive to be the best role model I can for her and the strongest woman in her life. Because someday I hope to be receiving a recognition for my impact at work, maybe a promotion, maybe my own company or any other important life milestone that my daughter will be there and she will proudly be saying, “My Mommy, It’s My Mommy.”

Journey to California: The First 6 Weeks.

I know it’s been FOREVER since my last post. Needless to say I've been a little, actually, A LOT busy since I made my announcement about moving to California and accepting a fantastic job offer. So what’s been going on the past four months? I’ll attempt to sum up the insanity as best I can! Future posts that I will be getting back to will get into more details.

Here’s some insight to the crazy world that has been my life since I stepped foot back in the city of angels…

Wheeling & Dealing.

Did I just buy a car in less than 24 hours of stepping foot in Los Angeles?

Yeah I did. After a frustrating day of apartment hunting, I found myself at a dealership checking out options as getting a vehicle was on my checklist to do anyhow. Didn't like what I saw at the first dealership, headed to another and all of a sudden I was signing my life away on paperwork to own my first ever vehicle in my name! Pre-owned, BUT my first vehicle AND my dream SUV!!! After that difficult day, needless to say my spirits were lifted at the end of the night driving off the lot in my new wheels!

It was love at first sight. 

Couch à Air Mattress à Bed à MY OWN BED. The Apartment Hunt Struggle Was Real.

Need.Apartment.NOW.

I expected to find an apartment fast. Heck I just bought a car in 24 hours. I started off at two separate friend’s apartment on their couches. Then my ever-incredible cousin who just moved to LA was back in town and I upgraded to air mattress! I never loved an air mattress so much and I was beyond happy to finally have an actual family member close by.  My life became my new job consuming my days and then the apartment hunt consuming my evenings after work and my entire weekends. God Bless my cousin who even helped me out on the weekends as a co-pilot and personal assistant helping call landlords and set up viewings as I feel like I drove around forever and ever. I must have seen at least 30 apartments and I’m not exaggerating.

Finally, Christmas weekend I got to see an apartment that was at a lower price point than anything else I had seen for a one bedroom I was looking for. It had no pictures posted on the ad, so it was one of those places that you didn't know what you were walking into. I walked in and was pleasantly surprised with an apartment that had brand new carpeting, fresh paint, perfect, I dare say even new tiles, a common area patio that I would be allowed to keep my grill and outdoor rocking chair. Even an outdoor place for my bike and Aubrey’s tricycle. The size of it was perfect too! I asked the landlord if anyone else had seen the place, did anyone turn in an application and what I needed to do to get this apartment because I NEEDED to have it. No one had turned an app in so you better believe before his short open house ended I ran to my car, filled everything out, brought back the $20 credit check fee and said please let me know if anything else needs to be done, I would truly love to live here and have been looking for so long.

YAY, AN APARTMENT!!! Celebrate!

A few hours later…..I got the best call of the five weeks I had been in California. I was offered the lease to the apartment. I broke down in happy tears and relief. The apartment hunt was the most emotionally draining part because it was what was preventing me from going to get Aubrey back from staying with my parents in Georgia. For a parent that has never been away from her 2 and a half-year-old child, besides one brief night in her entire life, being away for that period of time was sheer torture and quite a strain on the heart. 

I knew what I was doing what the right thing though. In no way would it have been right or possible to drag a toddler around during this cross-country moving process and drag her out for all day apartment hunting.

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.

Last piece of the puzzle. Now that I knew where I would be living it was time to pick a preschool in the area. A territory completely new to me as Aubrey had been with me every single day of her entire life. Now I needed to make a quick decision of who was going to watch, help raise, teach my child all day long. I did my research and narrowed it down to two places to do site visits. I visited them back to back one morning and easily made a decision. I preferred the second school. I liked the location which was less than a mile from our apartment, on the route to work and the values of the school. They had also just redone the back play area so that was a bonus. I also loved the fact that they required uniforms! No fighting over outfits in the morning and no longer having to buy clothes constantly for the ever growing toddler! Friday’s she can wear whatever she wants to express herself but the rest of the week, easy breezy.

So I signed her up and with this done I was able to finally make the flight plans to go get my baby girl and bring her HOME.

“Moving is so much fun.” said no person ever.

I got an apartment on the 2^nd floor. I loved that, but when you are moving that is no fun. I also had no furniture. The only actual furniture items that would be arriving in my pods I shipped would be Aubrey’s bed, rocking chair and changing table. That was it. So I needed a couch, mattress, TV stand, TV, coffee table, dining room table.

Why so many parts? WHY?!

Luckily I snagged a killer black Friday deal on a TV and just chose the option to “pick up in store” and chose an LA location. That worked out perfectly. Everything else I found, got great deals and praised my SUV for being able to easily transport everything around. Moving these bulky items in throughout the week and on actual move in day, I honestly could not have done it without Rob. He literally hauled pretty much every belonging from two pods up the flight of stairs! If I was to do it alone, I would have been out there for seriously like two days, maybe three. It was a lot to carry up from the street where my pods were dropped to my complex and up to my apartment.

I was up LATE every night until my flight out to GA; assembling, unpacking and trying to just get everything of Aubrey’s ready as quick as possible. She had been without her belongings and toys for so long I was so excited to have them ready for her when she walked in. I wanted to create a homey feeling as much as possible in the short amount of time I had, fully knowing I still wouldn't be completely unpacked [3 months later….I’m still not :o ].

I did the best I could. I wasn't satisfied and wished I could have set up more but my apartment was ready to welcome my baby girl to her new home. I couldn't wait for our new life together, our new adventures and our many new memories…..

………off to Georgia I flew.

*Stay tuned for the continuation in my next posting...

The Journey To California: Los Angeles Bound & Big NEWS.

If you read this today, November 28^th, 2014, then you are probably reading it while I am on a plane high up in the sky. Hopefully I’m taking a MUCH needed nap. I might be watching a movie on my laptop relaxing whilst on my travels. What you might be wondering is what am I doing on a plane today? It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to blog and boy am I WAY behind. So while I have an hour to wait til I board my flight, here’s the update….. (Be prepared it’s A LOT. So this is going to be just a part of what’s going on)

I am flying out to Los Angeles today. The day has come that I have dreamed about for over two years. I have hoped this day would come again in my life that I would be able to go back to the place I love, the city I thrive in, the place I left a part of my heart the very day I left in 2012.  I wanted to do this move the “right” way though. Last time I moved, I literally packed up some suitcases, hopped on a plane, crossed my fingers the room I was renting via Craiglist would work out and prayed I would get a job within a month. It was pretty carefree and in the end it all worked out. This time is different though. This time I have someone more important to think about than anyone or anything in this world and that is my beautiful baby girl.

I needed a job secured this time around. A job that would pay rent, pay for my daughter’s childcare, pay for a car and all the necessities of life on a single income. Not to mention being out of work for two and a half years makes the job hunt a scary place. Who is going to want me? Will any company see value in me? Can I find something that pays what I need to survive alone?

Well, the amazing news is I did! I accepted an INCREDIBLE job offer doing exactly what I was looking for in a CAREER. Not just a job but somewhere that I see myself staying, growing, moving up, taking names and kicking booty the way I know how. A modern, innovative company that I am beyond thrilled to join and quite frankly still a little shocked I have the position I was hired for! I’m not going to mention the name of the company here in my blog publicly, but if you are my friend on Facebook then you will be able to see I have indeed updated my “work” info.  

Now moving across the country with a toddler is no easy feat. I’ve discovered we had a ton of stuff to move, more than I anticipated. I found an affordable way to ship all our belongings in two pods from the company Door-to-Door moving and storage. Good news is I have everything I need already to start up a new apartment with my little girl, so once my containers arrive, I’m all set. I don’t really need to be spending extra expenses buying items necessary for our own place. Just a bed and couch really which I’ve scouted out serious discounted prices this sales weekend already. J  So that takes care of our belongings.

Here comes the hardest part. To make the transition easy on a two year old, the BEST decision was to go out to LA on my own at first to secure an apartment, setup a preschool and setup all of her belongings, bed etc so she is walking into a new life ready to go! I start work Monday morning so I have a lot to get done. As I’m typing this in the airport, I keep fighting back my tears of just having to have said my “see ya laters” to her. Anyone that knows me knows I have never left my daughter. In her almost two and a half years of her entire life I left her for one brief overnight with friends and got her bright and early in the morning because I missed her so much! That was it. Beyond that it’s been her and I her whole life. We aren’t ever apart from each other. I’ve been fighting back bawling and having a royal meltdown over this part of the journey for a few weeks now, especially this week and I’m sure once I hit LA, I’ll be a hot mess and I’ll cry it out at some point. The reality of it is I know this is the best way to go about it for her. I have and always will do what’s in her best interest. It will be a priceless time for her to get to spend quality time with Grandma and Abuelo before she comes back with me to Los Angeles. I know she will have a blast…..she just better not forget about me!

I know this is long so I’ll try to sum it up and write another post this weekend to update more about this whole journey. I will say this, I know very well that some people don’t understand, won’t understand and can’t understand why I am doing this. Why do I want to go back to California? How dare I move my daughter across the country away from her Grandparents? I have been told I am selfish and only thinking about myself. To that this is what I have to say. My daughter is always and WILL always be my number one priority.  Reality I HAVE to work. I am a single parent household so while some have this great idea that I can stay home forever, I’m wondering if you all are going to continue to pay my bills as well??? I am not looking forward to leaving her in childcare but I know deep down she WILL be ok, she will thrive, she will probably be stoked and run away from me to go play with friends. She asks me all the time to go play with boys and girls. She runs on the playground and loudly announces to everyone, “HI! My name is AUBREY ROSE!!” This is the little girl I’ve raised that I know will be ok. She is smart, caring and has her mommy’s outgoing and independent personality that will make this all work out.

What I do know is this, I can provide for her there and I can take her to all the incredible family events that happen ALL year round. No more stuck and stranded in the house for 6 months+ due to the cold air or bad weather. We can hit the beach in December, January, February…..anytime she wants! We will be two miles away from the Pacific Ocean. I also believe that when a parent is happy, their child is happy. I am not selfish because I also want to be happy. If that makes me selfish in some people eyes, oh well. I know my dream is not everyone’s dream and that’s ok. We all have different dreams, different goals, and different likes. We all have different answers of where our ideal vacation would be so when you don’t understand why I’m doing this, it’s probably just because you wouldn’t do it.

I hope my daughter realizes that she can do whatever she wants to do. She can accomplish and chase any dream she has. This has not been easy, this has so far been the hardest thing to do and get together but I’m doing it. I’m making it work. I’m not giving up and I will be the role model to my daughter that she should have.

Never settle. Never give up. You want something, go after it. If you’re not happy, change something in your life and BE happy. We all deserve happiness, we all deserve to go after our happy endings. It may not easy. Following your dreams are not always easy but you can’t stop because you have hard times, bumps in the roads. There are always going to be obstacles, people who try to stop you, people who don’t believe in you.  Believe in yourself, believe in the power of positivity and great things can happen. I’m doing it….I’m following my dream again. A dream I have not just for me, but for me and my daughter. I am excited, overwhelmed, anxious, thrilled, sad and scared shitless.  I have faith, I have family support, I have the drive of my daughter pushing me to be the best I can be and I thankfully have the good Lord above watching out for me.

….I’ll check back in with you all once I’m in sunny California. Time to get ready for boarding.

If you want to continue to follow my journey, go “like” my blog fb page, “Life’s A Beach Mom” for all the latest updates I’ll be posting. Love you all. Follow your dreams.

*I apologize for typos, grammatical errors. I don't have time to edit! I need to board my flight now!*